I love spring cleaning. It means that summer is around the corner, it’s usually the first weekend we break out the BBQ and I just really love cleaning and organizing on an occasional basis (like when it’s an event…day to day I don’t care to pick up my things).
However, as with everything in this great and terrifying thing we call life, spring cleaning is not without its problems. And so, in another bookworm post having very little to do about books:
10 terrible truths about spring cleaning.
1. You you have a pet, particularly an asshole cat, they will suddenly discover an affinity for clean, wet surfaces. They’ll wake from a dead slumber just to roll about on a mopped floor, decide to track litter or muddy paw prints on a dusted table. It’s just how they roll.
2. As you go through each room of the house, you will remove items to another room, either to clean underneath them or because they need a new home. Unfortunately, this will result in the last room you clean becoming an unholy hell hole of rag-tag items from which there is no escape.
3. It’s a great day to open the windows and let in some spring air. The neighbors thought that it also might be a good day to their spring cleaning…and burn their garbage for some reason.
4. Size 6 jeans. “Rosetta Stone:Beginners Italian” CD-ROMs. As yet-unused colour-coordinated recipe cards. What a fabulous person last-year-you thought you were going to become!
5. Arguments that go a little something like this:
“Why do you have a box of human tissue specimen slides?”
“Because I’m a scientist. Why do YOU have a Wendel Clark bobble head doll? At least Science tends to win once in a while.”
6. Finding items you borrowed from other people, lost, forgot that you had, and then swore you never borrowed in the first place.
7. Pinterest Fails. Maybe some houses can be cleaned using nothing but lemon juice, peroxide and baking soda, but mine is not one of them. Bring on the corrosives!
8. Accidental creation of mustard gas by using two different corrosive bathroom cleansers. Also 3rd degree chemical burns by oven cleaner.
9. Finding last years’ “Items to donate” box.
10. At the end of it all, sitting down on the couch, enjoying the imitation-lemon smell of your nice, clean, home…as a newly shed cat-hair tumbleweed drifts slowly past your feet.
Happy Spring Cleaning!