Recently, my close group of friends lost one of our own. I”ve had the same friends since high school (and the same taste in music, but that’s neither here nor there), and so even though I had lost contact with this person, the loss is real and palpable.
It’s a complicated thing to mourn a loss that isn’t yours to mourn. My friend left behind a wife and daughters, parents and siblings. This loss belongs to them and in no way am I looking to take anything from them by writing this. I am looking only to aknowledge someone whose life had impact on mine. I believe that people are in your life for a predetermined amount of time, and they serve a purpose in your life and the making of your person. I said goodbye to my relationship with this person 5 years ago. However, at 30, you don’t expect the ending of a relationship to be so quickly followed by the ending of a life. I am not here to pretend that my everyday life is changed because this person died, but it is enormously changed because he lived.
A while ago I wrote a post about the life lessons that one leaves behind. I truly believe that a large part of a persons legacy is in the things that they teach others. And although neither that post or this one has anything to do with books, I hope you’ll humour me. This is a partial list of things that I learned from a friend who is tragically no longer with us.
- Never be afraid to start over.
- “So bad that it’s good” is the best kind of good.
- Wring every last drop of fun out of every day.
- Try not to be the first to leave a party.
- Sometimes figuring out the details doesn’t need to be done right away.
- You can (and should) put anything on a sandwich.
- Laugh, be silly, do impressions and watch cartoons.
- The best friendships are made when social conventions and personal boundaries are violated.
- Walking aimlessly is good for your mind.
- All rules are up for negotiation in one way or another.
- You don’t need money to be happy.
- Play music loudly, Eat only the nachos with toppings still attached and Laugh out loud even when you’re alone.
Thank you for all of these, and many more lessons that helped make me who I am. Thank you for always messing up the peanut butter, and for knowing when to be the bad guy.
You will be missed.